


Connections Measured in Moments

by Polyhexian



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, POV Third Person, Rodimus and drift are Amica, This is set in the happy post canon lost light, but also I guess it doesn't matter, but also that doesn't really matter too much, drift and ratchet are Conjunx, implied history of sexual trauma, it's boring and self indulgent and almost entirely dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:48:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22330582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polyhexian/pseuds/Polyhexian
Summary: "Can I ask a question?" Rodimus posed after a moment.
Relationships: Drift | Deadlock/Rodimus | Rodimus Prime, Drift/Ratchet mentioned
Comments: 7
Kudos: 59





	Connections Measured in Moments

Drift gasped, tightening his grip on Rodmius' shoulders as he came, trembling and clinging, before he let his head fall back against the berth with a thunk, panting. Rodimus shook the overload from his optics, pulling out and flopping over onto his side, greedily pulling Drift against his chestplate to cuddle, pressing their warm chassis together close.

"You make the cutest face when you overload, you know that?" Rodimus giggled groggily, nuzzling the back of Drift's head fondly.

"I do, actually," Drift answered with a contented sigh, reregulating his ventilations, "You tell me basically every time I do that it's cute."

"I can't help myself. It's true."

"What can I say," Drift mumbled, "I've had plenty of practice." 

Rodimus exvented a breath against the back of Drift's neck, his arms wrapped around his midriff, chest plating flush with his second's spinal strut. 

"Can I ask a question?" Rodimus posed after a moment.

"You can ask me anything, Rodimus," Drift said, tilting his head ever so, even though he couldn't see his partner, behind him.

"You know most people don't interface their Amica and not their Conjunx."

"Mmhm."

"And you don't gotta explain it if you don't wanna, like, 'thats just how I am' was good enough the first time you said it and it's good enough now, you know, but," Rodimus paused, then pulled Drift closer, as if in apology for having even brought it up, "I dunno. I worry about you."

"You don't have to worry about me," Drift mumbled softly, before he paused and shook his head. "Actually… no, I'm glad you asked. It's kind of weird though, I don't know if I can even explain it."

"If you want to try, I'm ready to listen," Rodimus assured his partner, "Even if I don't get it, I trust you do. Or at least, that you know what you're doing."

Drift wiggled in Rodimus' grasp, pulling his arms ever so tightly around him in an expression of gratitude, "Well… see, it's like this. You know I don't have a really great history with interfacing, and it's, I mean. It's had kind of a real impact on me, you know? Or, maybe it didn't- sometimes I'm not even sure. Maybe I was made this way, or maybe I wasn't. I didn't really have a chance to know what I might have been like without like… connotation, you know?"

"I'm sorry I brought it up- if it's too stressful, you don't have t-"

"No, no," Drift said quickly, "I feel good right now, I'm okay. I'll let you know if I change my mind."

"M'kay."

"So… connotation," Drift began again, "For so long it was just sort of… I mean, it was never a thing I _did_ with someone I _liked._ It wasn't even that I didn't want to do it or anything, it was just like… I guess I had to find the part of me that looked for some kind of emotional or romantic connection in interfacing, and I had to get rid of it, or turn it off, and then I just… couldn't turn it back on when I wanted to. So it was like…" Drift hummed in thought for a moment, seeking an appropriate allegory, "It was a thing I just started associating with being work, or effort, and not a way to connect with someone. I wouldn't say it was like… a disassociative thing or something, but like, I definitely disassociated myself with whatever connection was involved in it."

"That's really sad, Drift. I mean- not in a pity kind of way, I mean, like. Maybe I do, I don't know, I don't want to say I pity you, or anything, but-"

"It's okay, Roddy," Drift laughed, "You're fine."

"Ah, geez," Rodimus said, puffing an embarrassed vent against the back of Drift's helm, "I mean like, you know me, I love interfacing. For me it's not exclusively a romantic connection, but it's still a _connection_ , emotionally. I wouldn't do it with a stranger, or someone I didn't like, but it's not gotta be someone I'm dating or anything. I guess that connection still feels important to me."

"I think I'm connecting now in a way I didn't used to," Drift mused, "but it's still… off. I don't think it's just how I am, honestly. I think it probably is kind of a trauma thing. But I guess knowing what it is doesn't make it go away."

"Nah, but I got it on good authority it's the first step."

"So like I said, at first it was really not great, and then like, for a bit, when I was I was still a Decepticon, I was really angry, and I got around kind of a lot, hoping maybe I could just figure out how to like it if I did it a lot, or found the right person, I guess- or like, in a weird way, because I wasn't scared of it, because I was so good at it, I could really impress people by like, always being down to frag, you know? The attention was nice, in a weird way, but after that lost its luster, I didn't do anything with anyone for a really, really long time."

"Oh yeah?" Rodimus prompted, curiously.

"Yes, dummy, until we started fooling around."

"Oh!" Rodimus blurted, startled, "Oh, Primus, Drift, I'm sorry, I wouldn't even have asked if I'd known _that_."

Drift snorted and wiggled again, bumping his aft playfully back against Rodimus's closed panel, "Yeah, but when you asked I didn't _want_ to say no, and that was kind of interesting, cuz it had been so long since I was interested, and I was like, if I genuinely think I want to, why shouldn't I? Whatever I feel about interfacing is so weird and messy, I should just listen to what feels right instead of trying to figure out what I'm supposed to feel is right."

"That makes sense."

"And I think it being a casual friend thing like, a connection, but not a romantic one, is just… sort of what I can handle right now. I think that right now, I can't handle it being a part of my romantic life. I think it would be… contextually bad? Or it just wouldn't feel right at least. Maybe it will at some point- obviously my feelings have changed a couple of times, so I don't really think I won't change my feelings again. Right now, though, it feels like that."

"Hm," Rodimus hummed, processing all that, "I don't think that was confusing. I think you explained it pretty well. I think that makes sense actually."

"Oh, yeah?"

"I'm glad I asked you, then, after all, if you think it's like, been a helpful stepping stone on your path of personal growth."

"That was positively eloquent, Roddy," Drift laughed, and then giggled when Rodimus leaned forward and kissed him behind the finial, where he knew he was ticklish.

"What can I say, you inspire the poet in me," Rodimus snickered, continuing to kiss up his finials, "I can't help but try to impress you when you're around."

"That's just because you like being paid attention to," Drift teased, "You are very needy."

"Yes, but you love indulging me."

"It's true," Drift sighed, "You do make it so rewarding."

"You would tell me, though, right?" Rodimus posited, "If your feelings change again, and you don't want to do something anymore?" 

"I would," Drift answered resolutely, "I feel and know now what I did not then, that I can tell you the truth without ruining anything."

"Good," Rodimus said, returning to his nuzzling, moving his servos from Drift's stomach to his waist to tease his thighs, "As good a frag as you are, you're a better friend."

"And you are a flatterer," Drift said, arching ever so into the touch, "are you really angling for another go already?"

"I can't help it! You keep wiggling!"

"Oh, did I not tell you my alt mode is a worm now?" Drift laughed, wiggling pointedly to flex the curves of his aft against Rodimus's panel in a way that earned him a hard shudder, "It's a new upgrade."

"Oh, Primus, don't even say that, I don't want to imagine you as a _worm_!" 

"It's the truth, you just have to accept that your Amica is a worm now. There's nothing you can do."

Rodimus _bit_ him on the finial and Drift immediately hiccuped in surprise and hard arched his spinal strut with a shiver.

"Not _fair_ !" He whined, "You _know_ those are sensitive!"

"I do, and I use this power for evil," Rodimus told him kissing the length of his right finial along the edge, but Drift was far too distracted by this to reply, stuttering and gasping, "You know, when I tell Ratchet you're a worm now he's going to be so sad he can't go on romantic beach drives with you anymore."

"Oh, hush," Drift stammered finally, pulling his finial away and pushing Rodimus' arms away so he could flip over and face him, immediately wrapping his thighs around Rodimus waist, earning him an appreciative rev of the Captain's engine, "Come on, then, I've got a date tonight, so if we're going another round, we are _going_ another round."


End file.
